Crow's Nest Advocacy & Consulting
Expressive Arts Education | IEP coach | Trauma-Informed Consulting
Certified Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP) Therapeutic Listening System Provider
New Service : Expressive Arts With Jennifer
My Blog:
Paradise In A Bubble
This blog follows the path of how we got to where we are. The only thing that actually mattered, was that we followed our child’s lead as to the best way to meet his needs. With our own flexible, predictable and constant sources of love and healing, we were able to grow as parents to see what our child needed the most. Us!
This has helped our family heal and has brought a new found understanding of what it means to be happy and live. We still find the most joy in our “Paradise in a bubble” because this is where all of our nervous systems are connected and calmest together. It is just what this family needed. It is the solid foundation we all needed and can always rely on, in both good times and in bad! Relationships are the agents of change- Dr. Bruce Perry, MD, PhD
"My son has given us the greatest gift. He gave us the gift to see the world through a new pair of lenses. This has allowed us to see him for the amazing kid he is, to understand him and do our best to meet his needs. To always see him not for his struggles, but to see him and to know he is always trying his best."
Relationships are the agents of change-
Dr. Bruce Perry, MD, PhD
What Is Neurodiversity?
Should we really be trying to "fix" another
human based on this neurotype?
New to the neurodiversity world or just wanting to better understand it and how it fits for you, your child or anyone else.
This talk by an autistic adult who is a psychologist and researcher is a great way to understand what it means to be neurodivergent in this world that often sees differences as something to fix.
By clicking below you will be directed to the video on YouTube..........
The Roots of Development
Are autistic for an autistic person...
April Autism Acceptance Month post:
This. The roots of development are autistic for an autistic person…this is their neurobiological existence, everything that flowers and grows from there, is experienced through an autistic root system. This is what grounds an individual to this planet.
This is what helps nurture the planet. This is what makes the planet what it is and helps sustain so many other living organisms. This diversity is vital to its existence. But every living thing on this planet has different needs and contributes to the health and well being of this one planet in their unique way and this is necessary for this entire living system to flourish and be well.
Autism acceptance……..belonging
Original Post by NeuroWild-
There are zero non-autistic parts of an autistic person.
If you were to take the Autism away, that person would simply not exist anymore.
It is our entire experience, our whole existence, and for many of us it is a major part of our identity.
In case you’re new here, I’m big on Autistic pride.
What are you proud of today?
Literally 5 minutes ago I stumbled onto an older project that I never got finished (because it’s freaking massive), and reignited my intense passion for that. I’m all excited again now. If I don’t eat or sleep for the next 6 months we could have it done before Christmas
Em
AuDHD SLP
Therapeutic Parenting:
Get Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable!
The parent-child connection is the most powerful mental health intervention known to mankind”
Dr. Bessel van der Kolk
Therapeutic parenting isn’t “therapy.” It’s about how we are with our kids at any given moment.
It is showing up for them in a way that is supportive of their well-being, their nervous system, and their individual needs at any given moment.
It is through this “therapeutic” idea that attuned, connected caregivers can be “the agents of change” through our relationships with our children and by showing up authentically and responsively.
Classroom Trauma Cycle
Shared from The Alliance Against Seclusion and Restraint:
Brain areas implicated in the stress response include the amygdala, hippocampus, and prefrontal cortex. Traumatic stress can be associated with lasting changes in these brain areas. The amygdala detects threats in the environment and activate the “fight or flight” response. The use of restraint and seclusion can lead to changes in the brain.
Children that have been traumatized may not feel safe and may enter a hypervigilant state. This can lead to distress behaviors when the child becomes overwhelmed or triggered. When demands are placed on the child that they are unable to meet the situation may escalate. This may lead to fight, flight or freeze behavior, which may lead to punishment and retraumatization.
Mom "rage", Dad "rage", Bad Parenting Moments?
It Happens!
Anyone else relate? I would add “dad” rage as well. We all handle the immense stress that is chronic and very unforgiving within some of our families in different ways. Sometimes not the healthiest ways. Some days I feel like after a “stressful situation” I think to myself, oh yeah I rocked that…feeling pretty accomplished and proud of myself for maintaining a sense of self that kept me grounded despite the chaos in front of me. Other times, well let’s just say, not my best moments by a long shot. And of course my reactive self experiences shame, embarrassment and anger towards myself because “I knew better”. But one thing I know, is I might have known better after the situation; when I have capacity to come back to myself and reflect on what the hell just happened…..and that’s what this is all about. Our own stressed brain state, just like our kids, doesn’t always have the capacity to do better. We ourselves move into “survival state” and we have our own “poor judgement, externalized behavior” just as our children do. This is why compassion for ourselves is crucial and compassion for our children. Because we all lose our ability and skills when we are overly stressed. Have you ever seen an adult slam a door or a cupboard in response to frustration or anger? But if our kid did that, or something similar or even worse, we tend to place judgement and shame on the child when just like th adult, when the child can do better, they will. And when they can’t, they need us to do regulate and get the thinking brain back online. As the adult, what helps you get your thinking brain back on line? Is it talking to your spouse, calling a friend, going for a walk, having a glass of wine or other alcohol, maybe crying? We all learn ways whether adaptive or maladaptive that eventually brings us closer to a more balanced state. But what choices do the kids have after a chaotic situation? We (the adults present at that moment) tend to bark more orders, tell them to stop, punish, tell them to go to the room, etc….. put yourself in your child’s place…….would any of this help you when in this brain state ? Curiosity is what leads us to understanding what our kids cannot often express verbally, or while their verbal abilities are limited, if they are present at all. Which is why when they are overly stressed, they tend to “lose” any skill they may have had or have been taught…but they are cut off from the thinking brain in order to access this higher brain function. It is a developing skill that for some of our kids, takes a very long time and lots of practice and experiences of feeling it by adult modeling to get better at. (Look how many adults lack the skill or capacity to access the skill themselves). So I wish everyone a wonderful “spring break” that brings moments of laughter and joy to you and your families. Remember to sprinkle self care throughout your day. Your kids will thank you for it 🤗❤️
It changes us, so we can be more present and compassionate to things we used to find hard, disruptive, disrespectful. The new lens to see a child “with behaviors” not as being difficult or willful, but as struggling and needing help. Much like the analogy of we need to throw them a life preserver rather than shouting from the shore, swim!!!! See a child differently, see a different child!!!❤️- - Dr. Stuart Shanker
Neurotypical social skills attempt to make the neurodivergent individual more neurotypical. This does not benefit the ND individual. Teaching ND social skills helps a ND individual to gain skills that still honor who they are and their neurotype, and supports their sense of autonomy and their capacity to move through the world with confidence, a sense of purpose, a sense of belonging and positive contribution to this world not in-spite of their neurodifferences, but because of their neurodifferences. They are unique and there is no one like them on this planet!! That’s to be celebrated! Thanks NeuroWild!
PBIS, PBS and it’s relationship to ABA.
I believe it is important to create safe neuroaffirming spaces that many are looking for and up until now haven’t been able to find. I believe it is really important to establish up front and the root of our authenticity and how we show up to any space. We need to be ready to engage with the right info, resources and language.
Empowering the caregivers with information is what ultimately drives system changes by demanding things improve for our kids, throughout their lifespan. This resource discusses how these compliance based systems are used against our littles, to our elder generation. These outdated approaches have no place in a therapeutic or educational setting, or when working with humans in general. The Neurodiversity movement sees this as a human rights issues.
Consistency, ableist, unrealistic, disability, capacity, equity
“Most of them expect some measure of consistency with our Autistic and ADHD kids- which is often an unrealistic and ableist expectation that entirely dismisses the dynamic nature of our disability."
"Many of us will be able to do things one day and then not the next. It doesn’t mean that we have regressed, or haven’t put in enough effort on that second day, or that we don’t have the ‘right’ attitude. It means that we don’t have the capacity to do it at that time. We’re aiming for equity, not equality. People need different things, different supports to thrive. Some students need more than others. Every student deserves to be adequately supported at school, and that will not be achieved through a one-size-fits-all approach. Also, rewards and behaviour systems need to go…….” https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=pfbid0m7ad8SUg8PYUWGj8MgPr1WYc84UZySYU3CfsTdn6foKG7N5btbUmHkvvgMHze78Nl&id=100087870753308
Throw Away Your Behavior Charts- Please!
Throw away behavior charts. They do not support kids and can actually cause further issues for many due to anxiety of not being able to meet the expectation. Kids meet the expectation when they CAN. Kids do well if they CAN. If they can’t, it is up to us to find out WHY and support the child. It isn’t about motivation. It is about lagging skills and the child’s physiological brain state at that moment. This is a perfect example of how behavior charts will do nothing to solve the child’s problem ; which it is the unsolved problem that is the underlying cause of why the child isn’t meeting an expectation. If we change our lenses to see the child as struggling and needing support, rather than being difficult and purposely not following directions (or any other demand), it changes our tone to a more compassionate and supportive, how I can help this child? Rather than , what’s wrong with this child? It matters. From Greg Santucci, Occupational Therapist: Charlie was in red. I asked another student...why is Charlie in red? The response: "He wasn't sitting right". I'll bump up my previous post on "sitting right". Red? For not sitting right? He went above yellow for that? Even the chart loyalists should admit that "red" is harsh! Geez! So now what? A call home so he can get grounded later that night for "not sitting right" during the day? Did the teacher take away recess? Because recess would give Charlie the input he needs so he can....wait for it......"sit right". No behavior chart needed. Charlie was having a hard time sitting in his chair. Charlie may not need to sit like the teacher expects their students to sit in order to pay attention. Charlie may need a movement break. Charlie may benefit from some flexible seating options. Charlie may have difficulty sitting up (poor trunk control, seat too high so his feet can't support him, etc). I'm quite certain Charlie is not willfully sitting "wrong" to get attention or aggravate his teacher. Kids "sit right" if they can. 😉 Charlie had to stare at his name in red. All his friends knew that Charlie got in trouble. Charlie was "bad" today. Charlie may feel embarrassed for getting in trouble, but feeling embarassed doesn't help him sit up. Or, Charlie may feel defeated, or not even care anymore about the punishment, because he's unable to meet the teacher's unrealistic expectation. This chart is SO CLOSE to the garbage can...which is where is belongs. Charlie needs support. This chart solves no problems. Tear Down Your Behavior Chart! http://www.ascd.org/publications/educational-leadership/sept18/vol76/num01/Tear-Down-Your-Behavior-Chart!.aspx
IMAGINE!
Imagine all of this!
And then ask yourself, how can I help while not adding to their stress load?
Imagine if we met our children WHERE THEY ARE AT………
Not where we think they should be!
Imagine the difference it could make for them.
Imagine!
See a child differently, see a different child- Dr. Stuart Shanker & Co.
“Imagine a world where we said, what’s going on with the children? So many of them are angry and distressed after school. So many of them are shut in their bedrooms. So many of them are anxious and unhappy. So many of them disillusioned at 15.
Imagine if we didn’t think the problem was them. If we weren’t giving diagnoses like ‘after school restraint collapse’ or ‘anxiety based school avoidance’ & putting them on behaviour programmes, but instead we saw their distress as a klaxon call saying ‘Something is wrong’?
Maybe we’d look at their lives and ask ourselves what it’s like to be young in 2023. We’d see the pressure they are under and we’d ask if that’s necessary in their one and only childhood. We’d ask if they really need to spend their childhood taking tests and being ranked. ……..”
